Retired Hurt

Chapter A

‘What’s wrong with him? He seems very weak’, my good friend subbu asked me while I was taking Lin for a walk. Subbu knew us pretty well. We have been living in the same community for years before he went to the US to be with his son for a while. I would see him daily while I walked Lin, my 8 year old dog. The question was very relevant and disturbing. Because that would mean all our fears were true. Lin was not the same anymore. I tried to take him to the vet, but the vet confirmed that there is nothing physically wrong with him. But then we all knew what the problem was.

“He has been acting a bit strange, lately”, I told subbu.

“I can see that. He would be all over me by now, otherwise”, ranted Subbu. Of course the enthusiasm in Lin was something anyone could notice. He was one of the most outgoing and aggressive dogs back then. He wouldn’t let anyone come near bittu, my 9 year old son. They were the best buddies. They still are. He likes him more than anyone else in this world. But things took a nasty turn one day last summer. At 35 degrees it was one of the cooler summer days.

Our house faced the beach. Thanks to my Granddad who had bought it in his good times. It thus became a center for all events. Family get together, Friends pop-ins, kids play area. All in a single storied apartment built under 4 cents area. And the terrace – The terrace was the most sought after place. The beach view from the terrace is something that everyone seemed to keep coming back for. But all of them were scared of one thing – Lin. It took a while before he became friends with anyone. May be because of the way we brought him up or may be because he was a German shepherd and he just likes to scare people.

I was inside our home, watching the India Australia test series. My wife had gone to her sister’s place and I was more than happy to watch over Bittu. More of cricket than Bittu. Bittu had invited his new found friend over. In the afternoon, Harsh came in with him and they started building their Lego blocks. I hate to see kids playing interiors. I kept quiet and let them be for a while. But soon after the constant chatter made me lose my temper. I instructed them to go out and play.

Bittu and Harsh ran outside and I went back to my cricket. It was tea time and they were analyzing how India should approach the third innings. That is when it happened. I heard a loud scream. I wasn’t sure if it was Bittu screaming or Harsh. I ran outside and saw Bittu gasping for breath, tears pouring down his face as he shouted, “Papa.. Harsh.. Harsh” pointing towards the back. I ran to the backside of our house and I saw the most horrible thing ever. Harsh lay there in a pool of blood. Lin was standing next to him sniffing him, barking at me. He had fallen down from the terrace. I froze and couldn’t move. I gathered myself up. Being a selfish father, I rushed to Bittu and sent him inside the house and locked him up. I took Harsh in my arms and ran to the road. By the time I had reached the hospital, Harsh had passed away.

The following few days were the worst days of my life. I had to lie to my son, first saying that his friend was in hospital and he will be OK. And then after a few days I had to tell him that they had moved to a different city for better treatment. But the anguish in his mother’s eyes is something that will haunt me throughout my life. I had to take sessions after sessions with my Guru to get myself to believe that it was an accident and none of us had anything to do with it. But Lin did not have that luxury.

The day after Harsh died, I was looking for Lin and he never came down from the Terrace. I thought that he sensed the things that had happened and was feeling sad. But then Bittu told me what happened the day before. Harsh was not aware that we had a dog. He was terrified of dogs. As they started playing catch-catch, Harsh had ran behind Bittu with full energy. Lin saw this and he started chasing Harsh. Harsh thought that Lin wouldn’t follow him to the terrace and hence ran up there. And when Lin stood right in front of him at the terrace and he had nowhere to go, out of panic, he jumped. 

Lin went into a depression post that. He wouldn’t come down from the terrace for days together. He wouldn’t eat at first and then he stopped drinking too. We brought a vet who came in to see Lin, but Lin was not cooperative. Even the injections that the vet gave to make him feel hungry wouldn’t have any effect on him. His mind was locked on the spot where Harsh jumped from.

I narrated the story to Subbu and he suggested that I take Lin to a different location. It meant that I had to leave my house and go stay elsewhere.

It was a tough choice to make. We all loved him with all our hearts. But the love was not enough to bring him back to being the cheerful guy he was. Finally we had to let go of him. The vet suggested putting him to sleep. But I couldn’t have lived with myself if I had done that. We left him at an adoption center. I just prayed that he would heal someday and I could go back and get him. Harsh’s mother had lost their son. But we lost someone in our family too.

Chapter B

“Ms.Mehnaz, do you plead guilty or not guilty”

She kept mum in the court. The prosecutor stood up to register his protest towards the time the accused was taking. But before she could say anything further, Mehnaz collapsed to the floor. She did not faint. She was not crying either. She just kept looking at the clock that was hanging in the court room and did not utter a word. The judge adjourned the session and asked the accused to be taken back to prison. The court for juvenile was adjourned until the next Monday.

Mehnaz was being escorted to the police vehicle through the court’s corridor. A good crowd had gathered in front of the court holding banners, “Mehnaz – We are with you”. Most were her friends.

The trial went on for a year. After a year Mehnaz was sentenced guilty. But since her lawyers were able to convince the court that she had done it in self-defense, she was let go with a 1 year sentence. She had already spent the year in jail and walked free from the court. She was pressurized later that month to give an interview to one of the more influential news broadcasters. Threatened would be a more apt word.

“Did you do it? Or were you being framed? No one from your family have spoken ever since the incident”, the broadcaster asked  

Mehnaz looked away from the anchor to her uncle who stood beside the camera gesturing her with folded hands to speak up.

“Yes. I did it. In my full consciousness. I killed my dad”.

“Why? Your lawyers stated that you did it in self-defense. What did he do to you?”

“He did nothing to me”

“Then why did you shoot him?”

Tears rolled down Mehnaz’s face as the images rolled in front of her eyes. “I shot him”, she kept repeating those words.

Finally when the anchor had almost given up, Mehnaz spoke.

“I came back from my painting classes around 3 PM. I had actually bunked the class since I was in no mood to sit through a lecture on art. The house was locked. My mom had gone to the college for giving some special lectures that day. I usually have a spare key, but that day my dad had taken it from me saying he lost his key. There is usually a spare key at my aunt’s place. I walked up to my aunt’s house two streets away and got the keys”

“When I entered the house, I heard noises coming out of the master bedroom. I ignored it at first, but then the noise seemed like someone was trying to scream for help. I pushed open the door and saw my dad lying on top of someone. I first thought he was having an affair and I started closing the door. But then I noticed that it was not an elderly person. It was a girl and she had her face covered by a pillow. My dad pulled up his pants and he stood there confused. He started threatening me to keep mum about the whole scene. By that time the girl gathered herself up. And to my horror, it was my friend. I don’t want to take her name. She was sobbing her lungs out trying to cover herself up.

I knew my dad kept a revolver in his drawer. I pulled it open and took it out. He stood firm laughing at me and smirking at me. But when I pulled the hammer, he realized I might fire. My friend kept screaming to me to pull the trigger. She shouted at me to hand over the revolver to her and that she will shoot. She said he has been raping her for months now. And threatened to ruin her future if she told this to anyone. I sat down on the floor crying with the gun in my hand. My dad walked towards me to take the gun away from me. He held on to the gun and tried to force it out of my hand. I wriggled and got it out of his hand. Then I fired the revolver. It was the first time I ever fired one. I had seen him shoot it once though. I lost aim and it hit the wall clock. I pulled the hammer again and fired again. This time I hit him in his ribs. Once he fell down, I shot 4 times in his groin. I did not want him to die. I wanted him to live and tell the story. But he died”

Chapter Z

Mehnaz was sent to rehabilitation center later that year where she spent all the time with fellow inmates. But she was not able to get out of the rut she was in. She would stare at the wall clock for hours together and cry. As soon as she turned 18, the family tried to marry her off. Finally she broke free and went off to live by herself. To a new city.

Once she got to the new city she started working at a BPO where she could earn her living. But the loneliness was killing her. She couldn’t trust a guy after what had happened to her. She decided to do something about it though. One of her colleagues worked for rescuing animals and she told Mehnaz that there was a dog at the adoption center which was undergoing chronic depression.

She met Lin and the sorrow in their eyes connected them instantly. For the first time Lin responded to someone’s call and went near her. She bent down to pet him.